There was a thread a lot time ago where someone was dealing with a particularly difficult Scorpio Venus and I wrote a very lengthy post explaining Scorpio psychology and their approach to love. Many people seemed to find it helpful so I'll try to mention the point I made then in a shorter version.Because of their very vulnerable and strong emotions they suffer a lot in relationships for many reasons one of which is being misunderstood.
For Scorpio:
Love is something you do for yourself.
Pain is something you do for others.
In their mind - real true love is expressed and proven only if you are willing to suffer pain for the sake of your partner.
Pleasure and love is something that benefits you and in the back of their mind they may always consider happiness in love "selfish" and "doing it for mostly for yourself, not for me"
That's why they may become abrasive, cold, accusing and downright nasty in the worst cases - because they want to see how willing you are to endure this, too see if your "love" is for them or just for the pleasure you receive from it. Most of this happens unconsciously and they don't realize they're doing it or why they act this way. Often you'll see an immature Scorp push their lover to the edge and when the lover finally snaps and leaves them, Scorp is actually heartbroken and thinks "I knew it, I knew you would do this to me."
Keep in mind that this behavior is the worst side of Scorpio Venus and really varies in degrees depending on the person's maturity.
Some people get offended when they hear this approach to love and they do have a point because this behavior can be really damaging in the extreme. But there needs to be understanding and willingness to accept Scorpio nature as well or else everybody suffers.
Here is something that I think every Scorpio needs and maybe subconsciously desires - they need to be called out. Sometimes I think Scorpio just wants someone stronger and more powerful than them to step up unafraid and give them a reality check. Not leave them, not bend to their will but stand up unapologetically and say "Listen you little sh*t, enough with this! I love you, you fool. Get a grip."
This proves several things:
- that you're strong
- that you understand what's going on
- that you're enduing
And these are all qualities that Scorpio admires. Keep in mind that they hate cowardice and weak will and if their lover bends over backward to their every will it is no different that quitting because you can't handle pain. They will lose respect for overly yielding lovers despite foolishly thinking that this is what they want. Scorpio wants an equal with whom they can war from time to time but still be lovers.
I conclusion, a balance needs to be struck. To please a Scorpio Venus you have to sacrifice from time to time but still stand your ground in some situations. It just depends on what you're comfortable with and what you deem acceptable.
Also, never ever challenge their romantic idea about "The One". Most of them believe in love until death and if they find out that you think a person has more than one soulmate or, god forbid, that a person can love more than one person at the same time they will never trust you.